Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Intense emotions...

I've crossed 20 and I've spoken to a lot of people who come from different backgrounds, have different upbringings and most importantly different mindsets. I got along with many and failed to strike a chord with a few... either the thought process didn't match or we just didn't understand each other. But for the first time in my life, today - I spoke to someone, read something that was destined to change my entire outlook towards life. I dono why it happened, it wasn't supposed to be so spectacular and dramatic, but thats just how it turned out to be. I dono why that piece of writing hit me so hard!
It was a grave issue and was written brilliantly but how and why that affected me like this is something unexplainable (as are a few other things that have been happening in my life lately... like meeting becky and papa CJ).
One thing I'm sure of - it wasn't because of who the writer is and how much he means to me personally. Whatever anyone else has to say, I know thats not the reason.
The issue discussed - well it doesn't affect me so much, but as a reader it really appealed to me and it ends there. The style of writing and the way the emotions were explained was amazing - I could feel the fear, the anticipation and all the weird things, it was very intense and deep, beyond anything I've ever felt. But nothing more than that. It was just an issue discussed and a good piece of writing.

Why then, did it hit me so hard? If it wasn't the writer, wasn't the theme, wasn't the emotions...then why did I go all weird?
I was right here at work and still wasn't.
I felt everything, but was still numb.
I was breathing and the clock ticked away but the world seemed to have come to a standstill...
Why do such things happen? Can written word cause so much impact? Why?

If I were reading this, I'd laugh and think its too dramatic, but it isn't coz before today I've never read anything so perfectly thought out and framed - that you tend to stay in that world even after you've finished reading the piece.
True harry potter did that to me, but that was all...ah i dono what to call it...that was different. I knew that wasn't true. I was sane enough to point out and return back to the REAL world. But now its all going mad...the world is toppling over and I can't balance out my emotions.
Wow! I feel elated- only in the negative sense of the word! I dono what that means... so please don't ask!

But I had to record this feeling and I've done that.
Well, been thinking about this other thing for quite sometime now and its the perfect time to mention this as well. Talking to a person surely deepens your feelings for the person, in this case it is love! :)