Saturday, August 30, 2008

so much to say, so less time

I tried and tried, but couldn't post anything all week. Not that I was super busy or din't have anything to write about but I just couldn't get in to the right frame of mind. Everytime I opened blogger and clicked on new post, the page obediently opened and the keyboard yearned for the touch of my fingers (I know thats super hilarious) but I couldn't put I just couldn't word everything well.
However, its a Saturday (again) and I've had loads to do (yea inspite of it being a weekend!!!) so I've been hell busy for the last three days...what with the damn fitness schedule, events, interviews and a lot of melodrama at office. Lots has changed since the last time I posted and probably everything is bound to change evenmore.

The biggest pain:
The biggest thing that happened was the argument with Becky. It pised me out totally. Haven't been so stressed out in the past month. It is the silliest thing we could have an argument on, something that she has to learn. I feel so stuck between both the relationships. Its not that I become a different person with both of them, I'm always myself they look at me differently. Its weird and stupid and the entire thing is totally psyching me out!
First: Being judgmental is bad, not that I am not. I'm as they call it 'goddess of generalizations' but jumping to conclusions without even knowing another person is bad. Idiotic, in other words.
Second: WE are 'supposed' to be mature people. And if you feel so bad about something as stupid as this, then atleast you shouldn't make it so obvious. I mean get a life people!!!
Third: I think this is the stupidest thing I've put up on my blog...Yes, it even beats the crappy things I've put up about my incomplete crushes/ infatuations/ love whatever!

Anyway moving on...

The next thing that happened this week was the Interview with Dr. Kalam. I received weird responses to this one. From "Who's APJ?" to "I'm so proud of you!" (No, that wasn't any family member. They just said "oh, ok!") It was a few friends and classmates.
He remembered and I'm just happy coz its the second time I did it and coz the happiness that my boss reflected when I told her about it was really good. I could sleep that night without having to worry about the work next day(not that I anyway do, but the guilt atleast gives me a reason to wake up every morning and get to work :P)


The 'moving on' is finally happening and the conscious reminders are helping. I've decided that it makes no sense (as he puts it) to "categorize all significant relationships as something romantic." I've been thinking and thinking about this and it actually makes sense. It is hard, really really tough and almost seems like I'm cheating myself, but somethings are never meant to be., and the article I did on break ups really helped. I only hope I can really get over him totally. It would be a lie to say that I'm not trying (as 'D' keeps saying) coz I'm really making the effort. Everytime something he said crosses my mind I always get myself busy and its really hurting , I cry and cry but I have to move on. And I hope the fitness thing helps.

Which brings me to the last thing that really made this week eventful...
Getting back to swimming
People at home think I'm just a loser and people at work think that I'm doing it to impress someone. Others think I'm jobless and some have even told me that I so can't do it. Generally the feedback I've received for this decision of mine has been negative. There were a few who called to say that this is the right time to get back and some others (Read: Coach) had a tear in their eye when I told them that. Its three days and I've had to pay for that one damn tear!
I mean 10 kms isn't a damn joke. I couldn't get up from the bed when I returned, it was only when my mom said that I could stay back and help her cook food and clean up my room that I got up to go to office! Torture!
Well Day one, I was FOUR hours late and since then I've had to run 10 kms.
Day two, running 5 kms and a lot of disgusting kind of exercises. The obscene-st of the lot were the crunches. When I was told I had to do them I was so happy that 5 kms were being reduced but shit these crunches are the worst things ever. I rather run 15 kms than do 10 crunches everyday. (A little exaggeration is allowed)
Day three: I couldn't be more dead! Shit! I hate hate hate doing crunches.
Day four is tomorrow. If I don't ever post anything after this, consider me dead and do send in your condolences (not that anyone cares)

Anyway this is it. Nothing else bloggable happened this week so I'm just going to end this post here.
OHH and I have to mention this, the song of the week: Yellow by cold play and Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits, both proved good competition to the song that has won - 7 things I hate about you by Miley Cyrus. I loved this song, she's ok but the lyrics make a lot of sense. However, Dire Straits was the heights of romantic-ness ;)