it lingers on...

Its such a disgusting life, when you have to wait and wait! Everyone laughs around me and I give them a very lame smile. They are overjoyed about something, something that I don’t know and something that I don’t care about. I feel so bad about something, there’s this sinking feeling inside I don’t know why. Everyone is talking about someone, discussing her dress and the way she talks and what she writes..., I’m lost.

I hate this cycle, I mean I always get close to people and they ALWAYS leave me and go away...even if they don’t go, they are around but they don’t really bother. I hate it, Its always the same story, the same damn cycle. It starts, it happens and then I say and its all calm for a while, but then all of a sudden it vanishes, goes away, its all over, the loneliness hits me hard and it traps me. I’m gripped between the worst moments of my life... forever. And I’ll be trapped forever. I can’t get out, I’m trying and trying but I can’t get out.