Sunday, November 08, 2009

wanting hug :(

You'll be in my heart

Its not the first time that this thought has struck me, nor the first time I've spent hours thinking about it. But really, where will I be a couple of years from now? Like in 2011, what would I be doing. Would I still be in Bangalore? Would I still be trying to make it somewhere in life? Would I still be the same personally? The people around me, will they still be around? Would I stop feeling the same way about them, like I do now? Would they just go away like every other person? Would things change?
I wonder where all of us will be, lost, in our own world. Trying to make it big somewhere, trying to battle all the odds...
I had a good friend, there was a time I thought I couldn't do without talking to him atleast once a day, or having long conversations with him for hours till late in the night. There was so much that I wanted to do, to talk, I felt so much, but then one fine day it all went away and now we're on our own paths. Now I have another good friend. He's everything to me, I can't do without talking to him, without spending atleast ten minutes talking to him everyday, whatever happens, whether he's rude to me or good to me, sweet or completely lame, I just can't do without staring at me for minutes, looking at his face, looking at him eat, I might be in love with him, I might not, but then I wonder, I'm scared rather, will he go away too? Will my feelings just change one fine day, will it not remain like it is now, forever. And the sad part is before I stopped speaking to my old best friend, I never knew everything will just vanish, just go away without a trace. Sometimes I try to bring it back, it doesn't come, sometimes I wonder why it isn't working anymore, maybe I've really moved on. Funny, there were times I was trying to move on, trying to forget him and just move on in life and mysteriously it never happened. Now when I didn't want anything to change, it did. But anyway, will everything change with romeo as well? Won't I miss him? Won't I feel bad after its all gone. Damn it can't go, It WON'T go. I won't let it go. Damn these mental conversations!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

As Bryan Adams hums 'Here I am' in the background, I'm reminded of the first day when I walked into this place. Yeah I know, I'm making it sound like its been forever, but then I have to write about this! Its a strange world, here. Everything is very different, everything is surely new but a weird new. There's so much happening, of course I've been introduced to a whole new world of electronic media. People tell me that this place teaches you all that you shouldn't do in any electronic media organisation, so basically its the don't do's of news channels that I'm supposed to learn here. However coming to the point, its been two months and a day that i've been here. I remember my first job at Deccan Herald where all I did all day was blog about my experiences, or the zilch of it. Anyway yea so lets not get too lost and quickly let me put down a few things that I should have put down long back, things that have impacted me the most about life in here...
ok lets do this in the bullet style:

1. Do not trust people too easily. Basically take time to judge people, as much as I hate doing that I've learnt that it is an important thing to do...

2. You cannot be nice to everyone. Sometimes, just sometimes you need to learn to be harsh to people. to make your point clear and to put your foot down...

3. This one is something that my mother was always told be her mother, and obviously in one of her long lectures she passed this on to me. Being too nice to everybody in all circumstances, is NOT always the best way to deal with things.

4. Acting busy is ok. Sometimes when you have absolutely nothing to do in life, you tend to just relax, go for a smoke, put your head down and sleep, barge into the conference room and read newspapers - Remember NOT to do that. Behave just like everyone else does, act busy, even if you are facebooking, do it in style, with a serious expression on your face, with a stern face, even when deep inside you are laughing on your friends uber hilarious status message.

5. Make sure you get things right in your head. Why are you here? What do you want? What are your short and long term goals? Do you really want to be here? I mean really, here???
Not being too sarcastic, but just trying to get things right in my head at the moment, sometimes blogging can help you realise the 50 million things that you should be doing and you aren't... if you agree raise your hand and scratch your armpit! :D

Mayn, only if I had all the time in my life, I'd just write, write and write... like forever. Trust me