Sunday, November 08, 2009

You'll be in my heart

Its not the first time that this thought has struck me, nor the first time I've spent hours thinking about it. But really, where will I be a couple of years from now? Like in 2011, what would I be doing. Would I still be in Bangalore? Would I still be trying to make it somewhere in life? Would I still be the same personally? The people around me, will they still be around? Would I stop feeling the same way about them, like I do now? Would they just go away like every other person? Would things change?
I wonder where all of us will be, lost, in our own world. Trying to make it big somewhere, trying to battle all the odds...
I had a good friend, there was a time I thought I couldn't do without talking to him atleast once a day, or having long conversations with him for hours till late in the night. There was so much that I wanted to do, to talk, I felt so much, but then one fine day it all went away and now we're on our own paths. Now I have another good friend. He's everything to me, I can't do without talking to him, without spending atleast ten minutes talking to him everyday, whatever happens, whether he's rude to me or good to me, sweet or completely lame, I just can't do without staring at me for minutes, looking at his face, looking at him eat, I might be in love with him, I might not, but then I wonder, I'm scared rather, will he go away too? Will my feelings just change one fine day, will it not remain like it is now, forever. And the sad part is before I stopped speaking to my old best friend, I never knew everything will just vanish, just go away without a trace. Sometimes I try to bring it back, it doesn't come, sometimes I wonder why it isn't working anymore, maybe I've really moved on. Funny, there were times I was trying to move on, trying to forget him and just move on in life and mysteriously it never happened. Now when I didn't want anything to change, it did. But anyway, will everything change with romeo as well? Won't I miss him? Won't I feel bad after its all gone. Damn it can't go, It WON'T go. I won't let it go. Damn these mental conversations!

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