I hate this feelin

I hate this post-that state when u wait and wait and wait and nothin happens. Why don't people bother? Don't they bother about anythin? I mean it doesn make sense, its really really stupid!
its almost like its all over...over and will never come back, nothin will ever happen. I don't want to feel the pain, but I have to. I don't want to feel bad about it all, but its all just flooding my emotions. I hate this, hate this so much that I can't hold my tears now, I don't care who's looking and I don't bother answering when they question 'what happenend?' I don't want anyone around, why isn't it possible that I just close my eyes and everything around me just fades away? I want to stay alone
To stay away from everyone!
But now I want some answers, some very very precise and frank answers!
and I want the answers right from the horse's mouth. I mean there's a limit to everything
I'm going mad with those terrible dreams of her and him and her again! Its almost like the things Ron saw when he was supposed to kill the thing in the locket! I mean what the hell, why me!
I hate this phase and I want to get rid of this feeling.
Moreover, its all my fault I shouldn try and go back in time. She kept saying "let the past be PAST. don't try to do things that would ruin ur present!" and I kept retorting, "I love him."
But this is not fair at all! I hate this and I want a damn answer!!!

Everythin was fine, what happened now? why all this? I never asked for anythin? where did all that warmth go? how did it fade away just like that? Why this moving apart? why this separation? Why this withdrawing? Why the invisibility? Why the hide and seek? I hate hate hate this!!!