Sunday, November 08, 2009

wanting hug :(

You'll be in my heart

Its not the first time that this thought has struck me, nor the first time I've spent hours thinking about it. But really, where will I be a couple of years from now? Like in 2011, what would I be doing. Would I still be in Bangalore? Would I still be trying to make it somewhere in life? Would I still be the same personally? The people around me, will they still be around? Would I stop feeling the same way about them, like I do now? Would they just go away like every other person? Would things change?
I wonder where all of us will be, lost, in our own world. Trying to make it big somewhere, trying to battle all the odds...
I had a good friend, there was a time I thought I couldn't do without talking to him atleast once a day, or having long conversations with him for hours till late in the night. There was so much that I wanted to do, to talk, I felt so much, but then one fine day it all went away and now we're on our own paths. Now I have another good friend. He's everything to me, I can't do without talking to him, without spending atleast ten minutes talking to him everyday, whatever happens, whether he's rude to me or good to me, sweet or completely lame, I just can't do without staring at me for minutes, looking at his face, looking at him eat, I might be in love with him, I might not, but then I wonder, I'm scared rather, will he go away too? Will my feelings just change one fine day, will it not remain like it is now, forever. And the sad part is before I stopped speaking to my old best friend, I never knew everything will just vanish, just go away without a trace. Sometimes I try to bring it back, it doesn't come, sometimes I wonder why it isn't working anymore, maybe I've really moved on. Funny, there were times I was trying to move on, trying to forget him and just move on in life and mysteriously it never happened. Now when I didn't want anything to change, it did. But anyway, will everything change with romeo as well? Won't I miss him? Won't I feel bad after its all gone. Damn it can't go, It WON'T go. I won't let it go. Damn these mental conversations!