random madness

Sometimes...nothin makes sense

I dono wat to do then

have been waiting

its been almost 5 years and a weird thought caught me today

i haven felt really really happy about anything in the last 5 years...I haven laughed loudly and heartily in the past 5 years

ive been awake, ive been alive, ive been around, ive done this and ive done that, ive achieved this and lost that, ive been sad and ive been depressed, ive been ok and ive been laughing, ive slept and ive sat, but still the things are slow,,,im waiting

im waiting

from so long... id have died by now

so many things changed and still do.

i feel sad and i feel low

i want to cry... no shoulder... no tissue too

its sad

im caught almost trapped

between wat i want to do and wat i need to do..

pain so terribly unbearable

hunger

fear

depression

expectations

wants

needs

torn

fear

madness

pullin me down

cant type

pain...its hurting

someone stop this

im not likin it

I NEED A LIFE!!!

IRRITATED...

From the past few days, i've been surfin thru naukri.com and timesjobs.com...its the most irritated i've ever felt in my life.
Time to remember all the mistakes i've made in life-
1. Quitting mid-day just coz I got BORED. - Its as Ridiculous as I can get
2. Taking up the responsibility to organise the Farewell for our seniors - Got misunderstood as terribly as anyone could get
3. Went to Chattisgarh, Came back to Bangalore - Both of these ruined my life, changed me, made me a different person. The real me is hiding, somewhere deep inside...and comes out very rarely when faced with rare circumstances and surrounded by people who really understand me.

Of all these mistakes I think this present mistake isn't a really big one - Joining Deccan Herald.
Anyway I had to do this to see how grave a mistake i've made.
Sensible people might laugh it of sayin "come off it, this isn't a mistake at all"
Honest people might add to this "Its all a part of life and this is a learning experience"

The TRUTH:
I HATE THIS JOB!!!

I just so hate this place and the work they make me do.
Shit i'm dying, i'm so irritated.
I've been through the best of positions, best of jobs, best of sallaries being offered-its all available and i'm sure i'll get those jobs if i apply- But i'm stuck @ DH.
Was speakin to Kevin the other day and he tells me Indian Express is offering more than what i'm getting paid here @DH.
Doing something i'm least interested in, sitting @ a place and working.
I hate this!!!
I hate this so much...