A friend. Really?

A friend... Who would u call a friend?
What about a person would make you call him/her a friend?
Ok so he/she knows a lot about you so does he become a friend? I know a lot about Sushmita Sen, Shah Rukh Khan and APJ Abdul Kalam, so do they become my friends?
Or would you call someone your friend because ur comfortable being urself whenever he/she is around?
What should a friend ideally do when I feel sad/happy/depressed/excited?
Should he/she listen to me and understand what i'm going through or should he/she start advising me even before i've completed what i want to say?
Should he/she avoid talking about things that really really hurt me, however trivial it may be or should they just mention it to see my reaction/pull my leg whatever?
Some things are depressive, really really really depressive and when a friend knows that, they SHOULD NOT mention it, not even jokingly! It ruins ur mood and u go in to a different world.
So then who is a friend? Someone whom you speak to/meet everyday? or someone whom you keep in touch with in spite of work?
Does talking/knowing whats going on in each others lives/meeting make you friends?
Does a friend call you 'shorty' or 'bitch'?
What do you do when your trying too hard to remain in touch with someone but the person doesn't care a shit about you and what should you do when someone you think is a friend doesn't bother about you? Do you continue making the effort, assuming that he/she will surely respond back someday? What do you do when you bump in to someone who was a really really good friend a few years back and now he/she doesn't even remember u?
Why do people change so soon? How is it possible that once upon a time you hugged and called each other best pals and now the very same person makes a face when you say 'Keep in touch, its so nice to see you after so many years.'
Next thing. Do you have any expectations from your friends? Is it right to expect something from him/her? Is it ok to hug a friend? Is it ok to expect him/her to hug you with the same feeling, a feeling of joy at seeing him/her after so many days (yeah, it might be just two days or two weeks), when he/she wins something, when he/she is planning to get married, when he/she brings u a chocolate? Any point at all? Nothin makes sense anymore and nothing ever will, no one cares and no one ever will, no one is ur friend and no one will ever be, maybe you don't need a friend, but maybe you do. For now its all black, just black and blahh! There isnt a point of existence, why should u exist? Why take the pain of waking up everyday, doing some non sense, writing some jazz crap and bothering to keep in touch, making an effort to talk to people, liking someone, planning something out, sharing things, hating people, drinking coffee, taking calls, making calls, bothering to be nice when u want to shout your head off, assuming that one day it'll all be fine, it will be a rosy world someday, when everything will fall in place.
Some shit!
Well the conclusion is this: When you are trying too too hard to change a certain feeling, something you really really feel for someone and it isn't happening... Just wait, a very small thing might happen, something that will change everything! Something small that will bring about the biggest change in your life, and then you won't be sad about it. You'll be happy things changed. You'll be happy that you won't have to make an effort or feel guilty, you might/might not hate the person, but you'll surely not miss him/her anymore!